Consistency as a Busy Mom: What I’m Learning (and What Actually Helps)

It’s not new — but it’s something I’m finally looking at honestly instead of beating myself up for.

Here’s what consistency looks like in my head:
Wake up at 4am. Meditate. Exercise by 5. Done by 6. Calm. Focused. Intentional.

And here’s what consistency actually looks like right now:
I try really hard to wake up by 6 (even though I'm so exhausted and my bed is so warm and comfy) to make sure the kids are up. I help everyone get moving. I clean up. I get them out the door. And then I hope I can squeeze in 15 minutes of movement once the house is quiet.

But life rarely cooperates.

A kid stays home sick.
Someone calls needing something last-minute.
I leave to drop something off, come back, and now my workday needs to start.

And suddenly that small window I was counting on is gone.

What I’ve realized is that consistency hasn’t been hard because I don’t care — it’s been hard because my days are full of interruptions and responsibilities that don’t fit into neat routines.

One of the hardest parts for me right now isn’t energy — it’s distraction.

I’ll pick up my phone to look up something useful, get pulled into searching, scrolling, or trying to find the perfect answer… and before I know it, the time I did have is gone. Then I feel frustrated and give up altogether. It's a vicious cycle.

I do get time.
I just don’t always use it well.

And that’s a hard thing to admit.

I’ve tried early mornings. I can do them — if I go to bed on time.

But that’s been another struggle in this season of life with teens. Nights stretch longer. Conversations happen late. Life doesn’t always shut down when I want it to.

When I fall off a routine, I don’t just think, “That didn’t work.”
I spiral.

I tell myself:

• I’ve tried this before.

• Nothing ever sticks.

• I’m always the same.

• I’m never going to change.

On the surface, I try to be understanding with myself.
But deeper down, I struggle with feeling like a failure — like I’m missing out on blessings because I can’t seem to get it together.

That’s hard to say out loud. But it’s real.

I used to think consistency was about discipline and trying harder.

But burnout — and honestly, my cancer — showed me something different.

There’s more going on than willpower.

There’s emotional load.
There’s nervous system overwhelm.
There’s the constant pull of family needs — which don’t stop, whether your kids are little or teenagers.

Family is often what interrupts my consistency — but family is also the reason I care so much about building it in the first place.

So the work isn’t getting rid of interruptions.
It’s learning how to work with real life instead of fighting it.

Even though consistency has been hard, it still matters deeply to me.

I have big goals — for my health, my faith, my family, and the work I feel called to do. And I know those goals don’t happen without showing up over and over again, even imperfectly.

Consistency is how values turn into real life.
It’s how trust is built — with myself, with my body, with my calling.

So I keep trying.
Not because I’m doing it perfectly — but because I don’t want to give up on the life I’m working toward.

For a long time, my definition of consistency was simple and rigid.
Do the thing. Every day. The same way. Don’t stop. Don’t miss.

Consistency meant routines that never changed. Showing up daily. Pushing through no matter what.

And when I couldn’t do that, I quietly assumed I was the problem.

What I started to realize is that consistency isn’t about doing everything all the time, the same way, forever. It’s not discipline alone. And it’s definitely not trying to hold every habit at once.

The biggest shift for me has been understanding that real consistency works with your life, not against it.

Instead of forcing myself into rigid routines, I’m learning to put simple systems in place that can flex with real life — kids, interruptions, energy dips, changing schedules, unexpected days. Consistency isn’t waking up at the same time every morning. It’s having something steady to return to when things fall apart.

That alone has taken a lot of pressure off.

Emotionally, I’m approaching consistency very differently than I used to.

When things don’t go as planned, I’m practicing not making it mean something about who I am. I’m reminding myself that I’m okay. That I’m safe. That nothing is wrong with me.

Spiritually, consistency looks different too. It’s not always scripture study, journaling, and quiet mornings — as much as I love those things. Right now, it looks like bringing my Heavenly Father into the middle of the day. Into my thoughts. Into how I respond. Into the small, ordinary moments.

That kind of consistency feels far more realistic in this season.

Motherhood with teens is very different than motherhood with little kids.

I waited years for my kids to be in school full-time, thinking then I’d finally have my days back. But after COVID, work shifts, and life changes, things flipped again. Now I’m in a season of catching up — with my health, finances, and family life — and that matters.

When something doesn’t go as planned, I still have a moment. Sometimes it’s frustration. Sometimes it’s discouragement. Sometimes it’s that quiet thought of, why does this feel so hard?

But underneath all of that is a steady feeling that there is more. More to health. More to life. More to the work I feel called to do. That feeling keeps me from quitting.

Instead of starting over, I reset. I regroup. I keep going.

One of the most freeing shifts for me has been learning the difference between restarting and resetting. Restarting feels heavy. Resetting feels gentle. Breaking things down — one habit at a time, one step at a time — makes consistency feel tangible instead of overwhelming.

What I wish more moms understood is that consistency is deeper than what the world tells us. You’re allowed to enjoy the season you’re in. You’re allowed to dream, even when the dream feels far away. You’re allowed to struggle and still be moving forward.

You can always come back.

Consistency isn’t about never stopping.
It’s about not giving up on yourself when life gets loud.

I want to be really honest here — consistency isn’t showing up for me because I finally “figured it out.” It’s showing up because I stopped trying to do so much, and started paying attention to what actually makes my days feel calmer and more manageable.

These are the things that are helping me right now — not perfectly, but enough to keep me going.

At the beginning of the year, I cleaned out every room and got rid of what we didn’t need. I didn’t realize at the time how much that would change my day-to-day life.

Now, when I walk through the house, I try to put things away instead of stepping over them. If I start something, I finish it. If I notice a mess, I deal with it instead of telling myself I’ll come back later.

With kids — especially teens — the mess never really stops. They come in, do their thing, and suddenly the room looks different than it did five minutes ago. But I’ve learned the mess isn’t what overwhelms me.

What overwhelms me is leaving everything unfinished.

When I finish small things as I go, my house feels calmer — and so does my head.

Another thing that’s been grounding me is bringing my Heavenly Father into the middle of my day — not just the “ideal” spiritual moments.

When I wake up, I treat that time as God’s hour. Sometimes I’m praying. Sometimes I’m just lying there, thinking, listening, or asking for help. I’m not checking a box. I’m just letting Him be present.

Throughout the day, I try to keep that conversation going — in my thoughts, in how I respond, in the choices I make when things feel stressful.

What I’ve noticed is more peace. Less anxiety. Less feeling like I have to carry everything alone.

That kind of consistency feels doable in this season.

I still fall off track. I still miss days. I still have moments where I feel frustrated or discouraged.

But instead of quitting, I reset.

For me, mornings are my way back. A made bed. A quick tidy. A prayer in my heart. A small moment that reminds me I’m allowed to begin again.

I’ve also stopped trying to do everything at once. I focus on one thing. I finish it. Then I move on. I don’t compare my pace to anyone else’s.

If I could say one thing to another mom struggling with consistency, it would be this:

Just because today didn’t go the way you hoped doesn’t mean you’re failing.
It means you’re human.
And you can always keep going.